An Irish soldier was recently given leave of absence the morning after pay day. When his leave expired he didn't appear. He was brought at last before the commandant for sentence, and the following dialogue is recorded:
"Well, Murphy, you look as if you had had a severe engagement."
"Have you any money left?"
"You had $35 when you left the fort, didn't you?"
"What did you do with it?"
"Well, sur, I was walking along and I met a friend, and we went into a place and spint $8. Thin we came out and I met another friend and we spint $8 more, and thin I come out and we met another friend and we spint $8 more, and thin we come out and we met another bunch of friends, and I spint $8 more—and thin I come home."
"But, Murphy, that makes only $32. What did you do with the other $3?" Murphy thought. Then he shook his head slowly and said:
"I dunno, colonel, I reckon I must have squandered that money foolishly."