In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night light in a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to it, and at the next yard sale it was the first thing she put out. I felt vindicated when a woman kept coming back to check it out, then finally bought it. "That will look great in your home," I said.

"Oh, it's not for me," she explained. "My bridge club is having a charity auction and we were asked to bring the most hideous thing we can find. What I've got here is a winner."

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