Indian Life

  • There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
  • You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
  • You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
  • Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
  • You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
  • You hide everything from your parents.
  • Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
  • You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
  • Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
  • Everyone is a family friend.
  • Everyone always called you for help on homework.
  • You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
  • You were thick (i.e. stupid) so you studied accounting or business instead.
  • You know no one who has studied music.
  • You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
  • You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
  • Your best friend got married at the age of 16.
  • You only make telephone calls after 6pm (discounts) or after 9 p.m.
  • You like the meat well done.
  • You eat onions with everything.
  • You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
  • You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
  • You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
  • You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
  • You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
  • You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
  • You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".
  • You secure your baggage with a rope.
  • You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
  • You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
  • You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of...the royal family.
  • You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
  • Your Dad drives a GM.
  • You're rich so he drives a Mercedes.

(For females)

  • You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff...but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
  • Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm
  • You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go to your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid
  • When your American friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of...each other
  • Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names
  • You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku,(lots more to add here)
  • Your parents call all your friends "Beta" whether they are Indian or not Your parent are panicking if you aren't married and you turn 25
  • Either you really like Indians of the opposite sex or you can't stand them
  • Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
  • A horoscope must decide your wedding date
  • Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
  • You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot"
  • Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried
  • You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried
  • In the smallest...of subcompact cars, you still can't see over the wheel without a phone ...book.
  • WITH the phone book, you can't reach the pedals.
  • You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to...anyone YOU know.
  • Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
  • Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
  • You notice that whenever you go to another Indian's house, your parents always talk about work and business.
  • The second you pull out of someone's driveway, your parents start talking...about them.
  • Every few months your parents say when they're moving back to India
  • No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

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